But it is you not comfortable with your humanity.

You said, and I quote: "I just cannot imagine doing so even if I know it’s my only way out of bondage. Believe it or not, I don’t feel entirely good about saying that, either. [...] I can’t see myself harming children under any circumstance at all. [...] The inability to even think I could troubles me."

What, pray tell, could possibly be troubling you here other than your humanity? Even though the French plantation owners in Haiti acted in barbaric ways, they were still human. Their (sufficiently young) children were still innocent. It is easy to have compassion for the virtuous. To have humanity is to still have a measure of compassion for those who fall short, to have compassion for those who are merely adjacent to those who are guilty rather than to view everything as "us" vs "them". To have humanity is to always look for another way, a way that does not involve slaughter or cruelty.

I suggest, rather, that you rejoice that you live in a time and place when you need not make these types of terrible decisions between suffering savage cruelty and inflicting savage cruelty. We all too quickly fall back into such roles, as evidenced by Ukraine, Tigray, the Rohinga, etc. etc..

There is no harm in wondering what you would have done in such circumstances. There is no harm (and indeed, perhaps much good) in regretting that people were forced to make such choices. But there might be harm in regretting the humanity you have now, in the present, when humanity is one of our greatest assets in building a harmonious future and yet is constantly under threat.