Choice of language is important when trying to motivate people, which is what I wanted to emphasize.

I guess your reply is that "but it is universal and ubiquitous so we really should call it like it is"? If true, that would be a reasonable (if not conclusive) counter.

But can you point to the data that supports the interpretation of theirs that you cite ("[men] still have a long way to go to break free of norms that hold them in emotionally straightjacketed forms of manhood")?

To me, the data tells a different story. The most boxed quintile seems trapped in a psychologically volatile and socially destructive pattern of behavior. The second quintile suffers some modest negative impacts. The entire top 60% seems roughly equally okay (in the U.S., U.K., and Mexico). And because of the nature of the survey, we can't tell if that top 60% is causing societal problems or not.

You point out socially destructive behaviors committed overwhelmingly by men--quite true!--but...#notallmen. So I don't see how that's relevant to my point (or Avery's complaint). Furthermore, on each Man Box axis, roughly 75% of men disagree, and almost half say they don't even think society pushes for that axis. There's a lot of variation here: exactly where it makes sense to not bash everyone but praise good behavior and condemn bad behavior.