Do you think that men are inclined to treat better those who are cherished allies, or those who are viewed as adversaries?

I strongly condemn abusive behavior--most people do if called to. It is heartbreaking. But you're not everywhere to stop it, nor am I. Mostly the challenge is to get people to behave better on their own recognizance.

But if there's any doubt about whether something's abuse, who are you more likely to believe? An ally, or an adversary? If someone is going to be pulled back from rationalizations of increasingly abusive behavior, is it more likely to sink in when coming from an ally or an adversary?

You've just (1) told men that their views about Y.L. Wolfe's post are not welcome--they have to accept that her account is perfect here (c.f. "Kafka trap"), and (2) used a strongly gendered term to explain abhorrent behavior ("patriarchal").

You could have gotten across almost the exact same points without the antagonism: framing the first as an expectation not a rule, and using "dominator culture" instead of "patriarchal" on the second.

Don't you think that these sorts of things are worth the extra effort?