I agree with basically everything you say, but I just want to point out that this isn't clearly established.

If you study people who have been treated in one of the most thoroughly well-designed and well-researched centers in the world (in the Netherlands) where societal acceptance is pretty high, you find that people...basically...don't detransition. The rates are tiny. So small that I'm not sure that the reasons can even be generalized.

If you study people in, say, the United States who identify as trans (despite having detransitioned to some extent at some point), then you get the result you say.

If you study people in the United States who identify as detransitioners, quite plausibly the answer is that they were actually cis but had some other type of unusual psychology that they tried to resolve by deciding they were trans. (I forget the study URL right now, but you can look through the answers.)

If you study people in the United States in an unbiased way, oh, wait, no nationalized health care system. We have no idea what happened to whom, so it's impossible to do it in an unbiased way.

Anyway, I completely agree that a lot more compassion is needed (and also that the transphobes are an unlikely place to find true compassion as opposed to exploitation for ideological reasons...but sometimes even being affirmed-and-exploited is better than just rejection). But we shouldn't pre-judge what's going on as "they're almost all not not cis", because it isn't clear, and it's harder to have compassion for someone when you try to fit them into a box they don't belong in, as you're liable to get offended when they keep climbing out of the box.

Not that this is news to anyone who is trans, of course.