I don't think you're adequately considering human psychology, especially the psychology of the coalition instinct or tribalism. Or democracy, where the consent and interests of the governed is relayed in a rather direct way.

There's a reason why people who actually got things done were unifiers, not dividers. Divisiveness is good for attracting attention; unification for getting things done.

I think you're quite-right that the self-righteously self-anointed authentic anti-racist activists do often don't give a damn about what some groups think, or go out of their way to be obnoxious to them. But if obnoxiousness pushes things one step forward but then the backlash to the attitude knocks things three steps back, that's not progress.

I hold rather with people like Frederick Douglass and with the more thoughtful and gentle approach that respects human nature, as exemplified, for example, by john a. powell. (Lack of caps his choice.)