Once upon a time there were these folks called "liberals" who thought that, actually, all the rampant stereotyping based on identity group was a pretty bad idea, based on any of (1) principled moral arguments, (2) a little attention to the history of atrocities and justification thereof, or (3) the reality of how much people were alike because of some group membership vs were their own person. They all gave the same answer about stereotyping: cut that *(@% out!

Then some "progressive" (i.e. regressive) people decided that tribalism felt soooo goood that maybe if you said things like "deconstructing oppression", you could use rampant stereotyping instead of treating people as individuals while still seeking to solve social problems, as long as you punch up (punching people is cool, right?).

So, I see what you're saying. It's hypocritical for a progressive white woman to decry male privilege and not be aware of one's white privilege.

But the framework is wrong. It fundamentally denies the humanity of people. So it's no surprise that when you get on the wrong end of it, you feel dehumanized.