So it's your considered position that women are, in general, too emotionally damaged to have an accurate or fair perception of the world? (Note that the statement at issue was "women cannot be expected to look past their pain and hate", and my rejoinder was, "can't we expect the overwhelming majority [to do just that]".)

So, instead, men are supposed to take over and set things in order?

This is what you're arguing. Are you sure this is what you want to be arguing?

Whoever within society has the perspicuity--sufficiently unencumbered by bias, hatred, fear, etc.--to understand what problems there actually are with enough detail and accuracy to work towards solutions has a responsibility to do exactly that: understand the problems and work towards solutions. If everyone else is caught in the throws of various dogmas and emotions, so be it: you do your best anyway.

My observation has been that women and men are both able to do this job, and in part because they hold themselves to high enough standards to be able to.

However, I do commend your consistency for acting on your advice. The multiple assumptions and disparaging comments on the basis of a hunch is a wonderfully clear example of what this is like.

But you can't make policy this way, you can't win friends and influence people this way, you can't reach justice this way, and this certainly isn't the way to keep more people from falling under the sway of attitudes like Andrew Tate's or DJ Akademiks'. It's entirely counterproductive, because the people who you accidentally correctly charge are too far gone to care--if they can be brought back at all, this isn't going to do it--and the people who you accidentally spuriously charge are going to be put off and some might start sliding towards more extreme viewpoints.

The error of bigotry is an error whether or not someone has been abused. We should view with sympathy bigotry born of abuse, but we shouldn't embrace it. We should support the abused person as best we can, and in the United States, for instance, the typical level of support is shamefully low. But we shouldn't support harmful attitudes--indeed, part of the support that abuse victims need can be to recover a more healthy attitude towards others who remind them of the source of their trauma (while still maintaining appropriate safeguards).

I very much want everyone to be safe. Since this doesn't seem possible, at the very least I want everyone to be safer. And part of that is discriminating between bad behavior and good behavior, and this is what you are saying we can throw away.

No, we can't throw this away. Discrimination is critically important.

The reason I am disagreeing with you (and Tony) on this is exactly because I want more women to be safe.

You are arguing for a laxity that will result in greater danger, and I wholeheartedly oppose the danger.