That's because there used to be a high bar for the term to be used, and now the bar is very low (because of "zero tolerance"--what does that even mean if the bar is extremely high?), but the stigma is still very high.

It's like calling someone who got a second speeding ticket a "hardened criminal". It is not overreacting to dispute being called a hardened criminal in such circumstances. The censure was warranted, but the intensity of the censure was not.

And, simultaneously, the degree of censure one can apply against a repeat mugger and rapist declines because if you say "hardened criminal", people start thinking of being caught for speeding.

You make some other good points, so I can tell that you're thinking about what I'm saying (I don't fully agree, but I agree enough and think it's a reasonable enough perspective). But I can't tell whether you've understood this one and disagreed, or whether you didn't really appreciate the point.