The "language means what I say it means, not what others understand it as" thing never ends up working out well.

Maybe that's what it means to you but you haven't justified that this is the extant meaning in society, and you certainly haven't justified that "anti-woke" means the opposite of "a ridiculous political extreme".

TaraElla's usage matches what I observe in the wild; yours does not.

Your attitude (as presented here) seems fine, but the words you use to express it are questionable.