This attitude fundamentally erodes our empathy as people and our respect for the power of language.

Eloquent writers enable everyone to gain a huge measure of understanding of the conditions of others. Close friendships allow us to deeply understand the challenges and triumphs of others. If we are to build a more unified and just society, we’d better hope we can understand each other well enough to count in every way that matters.

Of course, you’ll never truly understand what it is to walk this world as a Vietnamese man, an Irish immigrant girl, a concentration camp member, an Antarctic explorer, or even yourself five years ago (because you can’t remember every detail). That’s life.

If your friends choose to shut you out for whatever reason (possibly because though it’s possible in theory, you haven’t gained that level of closeness and insight yet; or possibly because you could but they’re not receptive for their own reasons), don’t react by abandoning all hope of us really deeply understanding one another.