You can always link to a re-education piece, however. That way people can tell that you mean the social science definition (and which one!--anthropology and feminist studies don't agree in detail), what you think is in-bounds and what isn't, and what is a necessary feature and what is a common correlate. If you say one thing and people think another--that just gets back to Tony's PR problem point, doesn't it? Even if it's just (some) men.

Generally if I can drop "sinfulness" in for some other term and not lose any meaning, I conclude that the word is not being used to convey anything beyond a general sense of badness. I typically see "patriarchy" used in that way.

Also, I think you are forgetting the ideals of chivalry (middle ages), the ideals of masculinity in the 1920s, etc.. The ideal of who ought to be sacrificing for whom and how much has varied a lot throughout history (even just European history).

Reality often doesn't match up with our ideals, but that's true now, too.

Maybe I'll ask random people who use the word "patriarchy" what they mean by it, and let you know the results at some point.